Don’t be fooled! A coup is something bad that bad people do to take control of a democratically elected government, but there were actually irregularities in Bolivia’s recent election, which means it’s not democracy. Can you even imagine if there was ever any suggestion of electoral irregularities or cheating in the US? We would flip out. And yes, Evo Morales agreed to hold a second election, but that sounds boring, and it would take so much longer than just using the military to force him to leave so an opposition senator can declare herself president while wielding a giant bible and banishing indigenous belief systems from the palace.

Speaking of elections, can you believe this impeachment nonsense? That’s the real coup—the kind that is laid out in the constitution as an official process and is run according to rules established by the president’s political allies. They’ve been acting as if just because this is a completely different context and process than a criminal trial, it doesn’t need to follow the same rules as a courtroom. Since when? They’re making this fundamentally political process into something ugly and political. Why can’t these Democrat bozos just wait a year for the next election?

The Wall Street Journal knows what’s up. Their opinion page has declared Evo Morales’s resignation a “Democratic Breakout” and informed us that the impeachment “Subverts the Constitution.” Clearly, if the Democrats were really upset with Trump’s using military aid to get a foreign government to interfere with the 2020 election, they should not have investigated. They should have waited for an independent organization to point out the issues after Trump won reelection, then wait for Trump to agree to a new election before having the military kick him out of the country and allowing Dianne Feinstein to declare herself the new president. That’s democracy! Investigating the President’s crimes and airing his dirty laundry in front of the whole country, then having elected representatives who are accountable to their voters decide whether he should be removed from office—that’s a coup.

Of course, if you disagree with these sentiments, you may want to voice your opinion by calling your congressional representatives or signing a petition to have Congress acknowledge the Bolivian coup, so the US cannot support the new, unelected government. But that would be crazy.