The harshly critical piece entitled “To President Trump: You Should Resign Now” was framed as an open letter to the president and got straight to the point with this opening plea, “We’re sorry that you decided to come to Maine, but since you are here, could you do us a favor? Resign.”

In recent days even George W. Bush has been critical of President Trump’s response to protests, so this new piece quickly became a trending topic on Twitter. Obviously, this is another baseless attack from the lying news media—AKA lügenpresse. Considering how delicate our president’s ego is—he’s our special little guy—we can only hope that Donald Trump didn’t see the letter; but just in case he did, it’s worth writing another one to lift his spirits. So here’s our best attempt—with lots of pictures and flattery to keep him reading:

To President Trump: Keep up the good work! Here are five ways you’re doing a great, amazing, beautiful job of keeping America great and protecting our values.

So, in short, Mr. President: Never change, never consider any other perspectives, and never worry about the backlash of violently quashing peaceful protest. Just keep your pants dry, and keep up the good work.